Valentine's day posts part 2

Hi to all. Like what I said, this is a series that I’m doing on Valentine’s Day. Part 2 is based on a skill that I dearly cherish, humour. So I hope everyone will find these jokes amusing and may it brighten up your day ahead!

The first two jokes are about friends

Joke number one

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"

Joke number two

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars and tell me, what do you see?"

Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars."

Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?"

Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life."

And Holmes said: "No Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody has stolen our tent.”


Err…the third joke is not about friends but it certainly shows you what damage a comment can have on others (in a hilarious way)

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man replies: "how dare the driver do that?!” “You go right up there and tell him off immediately…Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you first."


Lastly, let me bring u all my all time favourite marriage joke

Before Marriage:

Boy: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait

Girl: Do you want me to leave?

Boy: No! Don’t even think about it!

Girl: Do you love me?

Boy: Of course! Over and over!

Girl: Have you ever cheated on me?

Boy: No! Why are you even asking?

Girl: Will you kiss me?

Boy: Every chance I get.

Girl: Will you hit me?

Boy: Are you crazy? I’m not that kind of person.

Girl: Can I trust you?

Boy: Yes.

Girl: Darling!

After Marriage — Simply read from bottom to top.


Editor’s note: Just to let you all know, the 1st and 2nd jokes were voted the funniest jokes in the world respectively. Anyhow, I think humour is a great way of expressing oneself to others, be it to friends or people that you are meeting for the very first time. Who knows, maybe u can tell these jokes to your friends on V day. Of cos, you have to be wary about certain things you say. Otherwise, you’ll end up like that man in joke number three. YOU have been warned, hahahahahahaha.